Augusta: may I ask, Mr. Worthing, who is that young person whose
        hand my nephew Algernon is now holding in what seems to
        me to be a peculiarly unnecessary manner?
Jack: That lady is Miss Cecily Cardew, my ward.
Algy: Yes, I am engaged to be married to Cecily, aunt Augusta.
Augusta: I beg your pardon?
Cecily: Mr. Moncrieff and I are engaged to be married, Lady Bracknell.
Augusta: I do not know whether there's anything peculiarly exciting
        about the air of this particular part of Hertfordshire, but the
        number of engagements that go on seem to me to be
        considerably above the proper average that statistics have
        laid down for our guidance. Mr. Worthing, is Miss Cardew at
        all connected with any of the larger railway stations in
        London? I merely desire information. Until recently, I was not
        aware that there were any families or persons whose origin
        was a terminus. Gwendolen, the time approaches for our
        departure. We have not a moment to lose. As a matter of
        form, I'd better ask if Miss Cardew has any little fortune.
Jack: Oh, about £130,000 in the funds, that is all. Good-bye, Lady
     Bracknell. So pleased to have seen you.
Augusta: A moment, Mr. Worthing. £130,000? And in the funds? Miss
        Cardew seems to me to be a most attractive young lady,
        now that I look at her. Come over here, dear.
Algy: Go on.
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-30 12:41 | Earnest words


Augusta: And now, as regards Algy... Algy?
Algy: Yes, aunt Augusta.
Augusta: May I ask if it is in this house that your invalid friend
        Mr. Bunbury resides?
Algy: Oh, no, Bunbury doesn't live here. Bunbury's somewhere else at
     the present. In fact, um, ahem... Bunbury is dead.
Augusta: Dead?
Algy: Dead.
Augusta: When did Mr. Bunbury die? His death must've been extremely
Algy: Bunbury died this afternoon.
Augusta: What did he die of?
Algy: Bunbury? He was quite exploded.
Augusta: Exploded?
Algy: Mm.
Augusta: Was he the victim of some revolutionary outrage? I was not
        aware that Mr. Bunbury was interested in social legislation.
Algy: My dear aunt Augusta, I mean he was found out. The doctors
     found out that Bunbury could not live. That is what I mean.
     So Bunbury died.
Augusta: He seems to have had great confidence in the opinion of
        his physicians. I am glad, however, that he made his up
        mind at the last to some definite course of action, and acted
        under proper medical advice. And now that we have finally
        got rid of this Mr. Bunbury,
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-29 13:54 | Earnest words


Merriman: Lady Bracknell.
Augusta: Gwendolen!
        What does this mean?
Gwendolen: Merely that I am engaged to be married to Mr. Worthing,
Augusta: Come here. Sit down.
        Sit down immediately.
        Of course, you will clearly understand, sir, that all
        communication between yourself and my daughter must
        cease immediately from this moment. On this point,
        as indeed on all points, I am firm.
Jack: I am engaged to be married to Gwendolen, Lady Bracknell.
Augusta: You are nothing of the kind, sir.
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-28 05:41 | Earnest words


Cecily & Gwendolen: Your Christian names are still an insuperable
                barrier. That is all.
Jack: Our Christian names?
Algy: Is that all?
both: We're going to be christened this afternoon.
Gwendolen: For my sake you're prepared to do this terrible thing?
Jack: I am.
Cecily: To please me you're ready to face this fearful ordeal?
Algy: I am.
Gwendolen: Where questions of self-sacrifice are concerned, men are
         infinitely beyond us.
Jack: We are.
Gwendolen: Darling.
Cecily: Darling.
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-26 12:56 | Earnest words


[song begins again]

both: ♪She will not come, I know her well
     ♪Of lover's vows, she hath no care
     ♪And little good a man can tell
     ♪For one so cruel and so fair
     ♪True love is but a woman's toy
     ♪They never know the lover's pain
     ♪And I who loved as love's a boy
     ♪Must love in vain, must love in vain
     ♪Come down
     ♪Lady, come down
Algy: ♪Dum dum dum dum
Jack: ♪Come down
Algy: ♪Dum dum dum dum
Jack: ♪Lady, come down
Algy: ♪Dum dum dum dum
Jack: ♪Lady, come down

Gwendolen: We will not be the first to speak.
Cecily: Certainly not.
Gwendolen: Mr. Worthing, I have something very particular to ask you.
         Much depends on you reply.
Cecily: Gwendolen, your common sense is invaluable.
      Mr. Moncrieff, kindly answer me the following question.
      Why did you pretend to be my guardian's brother?
Algy: In order that I might have an opportunity of meeting you.
Cecily: That certainly seems a satisfactory explanation, does it not?
Gwendolen: Yes, dear, if you can believe him.
Cecily: Well, I don't, but that doesn't affect the wonderful beauty of
      his answer.
Gwendolen: True. In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity,
         is the vital thing.
         Mr. Worthing, what possible explanation can you offer me
         for pretending to have a brother?
         Was it in order that you might have an opportunity of
         coming up to town to see me as often as possible?
Jack: Can you doubt it, Miss Fairfax?
Gwendolen: I have the gravest doubts on the subject, but intend to
         crush them.

Gwendolen: Their explanations appear to be quite satisfactory, espe...
         especially Mr. Worthing's. That seems to me to have the
         stamp of truth upon it.
Cecily: I am more than content with what Mr. Moncrieff said. His voice
      alone seemed to inspire absolute credulity.
Gwendolen: Then you think we should forgive them?
Cecily: Yes.
      I mean, no.
Gwendolen: True, there are principles at stake... that one cannot
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-24 20:27 | Earnest words


[music playing faintly]
[guitar and piano music playing]

Gwendolen: Let us preserve a dignified silence.
Cecily: Certainly. It's the only thing to do now.

Jack: ♪The western wind is blowing fair
Algy: ♪Across the dark Aegean sea
both: ♪And at the secret marble stair
     ♪My Tyrian galley waits for thee
Algy: ♪Come down, the purple sail is spread
both: ♪The watchman sleeps within the town

Gwendolen: This dignified silence seems to have produced an
          unpleasant effect.
Cecily: A most distasteful one.

both: ♪O lady mine, come down
     ♪Come down
     ♪Lady, come down

[door slams]
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-22 21:27 | Earnest words


Jack: But we cannot both be christened Ernest. It's absurd.
Algy: I have a perfect right to be christened if I like.
Jack: But you've been christened already.
Algy: Yes, but not for years.
Jack: Yes, but you've been christened. That is the important thing.
Algy: Quite so. So, I know my constitution can stand it. I you're not
     quite sure about your ever having been christened, I must say,
     I think it rather dangerous your venturing on it now.
Jack: Oh, nonsense. You are always talking nonsense.
Algy: Unh!
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-21 21:31 | Earnest words


Chasuble: But is there any particular infant in whom you are interested,
        Mr. Worthing?
Jack: The fact is, dear doctor, I would like to be christened myself.
     This afternoon, if you have nothing better to do.
Chasuble: Surely... Mr. Worthing, you've been christened already.
Jack: I don't remember anything about it. Of course, I don't know if the
     thing would bother you in any way or if you think that I'm a little
     too old now.
Chasuble: No, no, no, no, no. Not at all, not at all. The sprinkling and,
        indeed, immersion of adults is a perfectly canonical practice.
        Um, what hour would you wish the ceremony performed?

Algy: I might trot round at about 6:00 if that would suit you.
Chasuble: Oh, perfectly, perfectly.
Algy: Thank you.
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-20 14:34 | Earnest words


Jack: How you calmly eat muffins when we're in this horrible trouble I
     can't make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.
Algy: I can hardly eat muffins in an agitated manner, can I? The butter
     would probably get on my cuffs.
Jack: I say, it's perfectly heartless you're eating muffins at all under
     the circumstances.
Algy: When I'm in trouble, eating is my only consolation. Indeed, when
     I'm in really great trouble, as anyone who knows me intimately
     will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink. At the
     present moment, I am eating muffins because I am unhappy.
     Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins.
Jack: Well, there's no reason why you should eat them all in that
     greedy way.
Algy: Would you like some tea cake? I don't like tea cake.
Jack: Good heavens. I suppose a man may eat his own muffins in his
     own garden.

Cecily: They seem to be eating muffins.

Algy: But you just said it was perfectly heartless to eat muffins.
Jack: I said it was perfectly heartless of you under the circumstances.
     That is a very different thing.
Algy: That may be, but the muffins are the same.
Jack: No.
Algy: Give them to me!
Jack: Well, I certainly don't rate your chances as my ward, Algernon.
Algy: Well, I don't think there's much likelihood of you, Jack, and Miss
     Fairfax being united, Jack!
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-18 13:40 | Earnest words


Cecily: May I offer you some tea, Miss Fairfax?
Gwendolen: Thank you, Miss Cardew.
Cecily: Sugar?
Gwendloen: No, thank you. Sugar is not fashionable anymore.
Cecily: Cake or bread and butter?
Gwendloen: Bread and butter, please. Cake is rarely seen in the best
         houses nowadays.
         Hmm? From the moment I saw you, I distrusted you. I felt
         that you were false and deceitful.
Cecily: It seems to me, Miss Fairfax, that I am trespassing on your
      valuable time. No doubt you have many calls of a similar
      character to make in the neighbourhood.
      You're back so soon.
Algy: My own love.
Cecily: A moment, Ernest. May I ask you... are you engaged to be
      married to this young lady?
Algy: What young lady?
     Good heavens, Gwendolen.
Cecily: Yes, to "good heavens, Gwendolen."
Algy: Of course not. What put such an idea into your pretty little head?
Cecily: Thank you. You may.
Gwendolen: I felt there must be some slight error, Miss Cardew. The
         gentleman who is now embracing you is my cousin,
         Mr. Algernon Moncrieff.
Cecily: Algernon? Moncrieff?
Gwendolen: Yes.
Cecily: Algy. Ohh!
Gwendolen: Here is Ernest. Ohh. Oh, my own Ernest.
Jack: Gwendolen, my darling.
Cecily: I knew there must be some misunderstanding, Miss Fairfax. The
      man whose arm is around your waist is my guardian Mr. John
Gwendolen: I beg your pardon?
Cecily: This is uncle Jack.
Gwendolen: Jack?
Cecily: Are you called Algy?
Algy: I cannnot deny it.
Gwendolen: Is your name really John?
Jack: I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked, but it
     certainly is John. It has been John for years.
Cecily: A gross deception has been practised on us.
Gwendolen: My poor wounded Cecily.
Cecily: My sweet wronged Gwendolen.
Gwendolen: Ohh. You will call me sister, will you not?
Cecily: Of course.
Gwendolen: Let us go into the house, sister. They will hardly venture
         to come after us there.
Cecily: No. Men are so cowardly, aren't they?
# by hamasayuta | 2007-03-16 22:16 | Earnest words